When "no" means "yes" & "yes" means "no"

Somewhere along the line, I mistakenly came to believe that being a mommy (or parent of any type) allows you some inherent right to say "no" and actually mean "no". I always thought that it was all a matter of hitting just the right tone of voice...somewhere between a subtle plea and an insane rant... accompanied by just the right facial expression...again, somewhere between the "I'm a pushover look" and the "I'm going to drop kick you into the next yard" look that would do the trick. Alas, I could not have been more wrong! The parenting books are all over the place on this, from those that swear you should...be consistent, be persistent, be firm... to those who preach...redirect, reconnect, be kind.

On the other hand, some friends, grandparents, siblings insist a good "swat on the rear end" would do the trick, all of whom are all too willing to share some vivid memories of their own childhoods gone past...including the 'ol I was hit by a shoe, by the belt, by a wooden spoon...and on and on. Through it all, the one thing that has become apparently clear to me over my first 3 years of motherhood is, nobody is right and nobody is wrong and anyone who thinks there is a clear "best approach" to the terrible 2's or the tyrannical 3's is just plain INSANE.

So, in spite of all this great advice, I still find myself sounding very much like the proverbial "broken record" these days...No, no, no, no, don't do that...followed by, PLEASE, no, no, no, don't do that...followed by a totally futile...IF you continue to do that X will happen...which, of course, leaves me with the 'ol, so do I do X now knowing the situation will only escalate or do I not do X, and risk creating the expectation of meaningless threats???? It's only at that moment where I'm contemplating which is the worst of two bad choices, that I realize that I've somehow gotten myself into that one place where parents never want to be...a parental No-Win! Yes, he's once again managed to get me at "checkmate"!!!

I'd like to consider myself to be fairly intelligent, yet I somehow allow a 3 year old to reduce me down to a bumbling idiot. I see the trap coming, and yet only once in a while do I manage to stop and avoid it. See, I know the secret way through, around, under, over this impasse is to simply say "yes" when I mean "no" and the other way around. It works EVERY time...say "don't you do X" and I'd bet you my Lexus, X is what he's going to do! Say "you better not eat that oatmeal" and the oatmeal will disappear before your eyes. Say "hurry, go out without your coat so I can wear it" and ON goes the coat. Say what you REALLY mean and you're in for a battle.

In all honesty, if I had known parenting was going to be like this I would have been a psychology major instead of an engineer...because there is absolutely no logic in any of this! It's like years ago when those calculators came out with "reverse polish notation" and we all had to struggle to figure out how to think backwards about things...little did I know that that little calculator would be such a great parenting training device...I probably would still be using it...LOL

So, on the flip side of all of this, is the fact that Jake is really, really starting to talk more now!! And it's still amazing to hear some of the things our little parrot comes back at us with...some of the newest favorites are "that's not true"..."I don't care"..."I need some time alone right now"..."momma, what did I say?" (said with hands on hips)..."I said no"..."momma, I'm ready to listen to your words now" (in a desperate attempt to get out of time out). Sometimes these are said at just the right moment with exactly the right tone, facial expression and stance that it takes everything we have for Nanny and I not to laugh out loud.

Jake also continues to amaze us with his aptitude for numbers, counting, letters and spelling. He can now count to 100 by 10's and back down again by 10's. A skill his teacher says you wouldn't expect a child to master until 2nd grade (age 7)!! In addition to all of the things he's been spelling for a year or so now...he also remembers how to spell his girl Jordan's name, NY Liberty (pronounced NY Livery), Slow, Stop, Go, Cat, Dog and on and on. At his school, every morning he continues to help his friends to pick out their name cards, and then spells their name for them to try to help them learn to do it on their own. They mostly just look at him like he's a little odd, but it doesn't dissuade him from continuing to try. And once in a while, just to make us all catch our breath, he will say the alphabet backwards...pausing as he goes to allow us to say it forward to check to see if he's right. Funny, but also a little scary too.

Here are a few recent shots of him with his big buckle, like his JJ wears (eating the donut I just told him he could NOT have...LOL

With his nanny...who of course, manages to cover the buckle in every shot...LOL
Two big men getting ready to hit the town....

So, we're T-3 for Disney World and out of the two of us, I'm definitely the one who's most excited about it (though definitely NOT about the packing that goes with it). He does wake up every morning and say "we go and see Mickey today, Momma?" And he's been exceptionally good about taking his medicine and vitamins this past week once he learned that they don't allow anyone who's sick to come to Disney because they might get Mickey and some of his friends sick too (hey, I'm not above a little white lie to get him to take his meds). I just can't wait to see the wonder unfold as he takes in his first view of the Magic Kingdom and meets Mickey for the very first time!!!!! The only thing likely to beat this trip will be the first Posse trip to Disney...now that's going to be a blast!! (Since we're all still basically kids at heart)

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving...We certainly did and we're quite sure we know all that we have to be thankful for...including YOU!!!

XXXOOO

p.s. Next post will be post-Disney!

p.p.s. Line of the week...(In response to my saying mommy wants to sleep until the clock says 10 something, ok?) "Momma, your clock says 7-0-0...that's seven hundred and that's way more than 10, so it's time to get up!!"