Signs of Growing Up...And Not...LOL

It's been an interesting past few weeks for Jake.  There are some new "firsts" to report, some past troubles that have stopped (thank God) and some that continue (which may cause us all to drink heavily before he gets out of first grade).

Let's start with a few exciting "firsts"...  After 5 years of only wanting to take baths and absolutely HATING having water on his face, one day Jake decided that he wanted to take a shower ALL BY HIMSELF.  Now of course, his Nanny insists on overseeing the entire process (and believe me, it's a process...you know the boy, everything is a set process).  Every day he comes home from school, plays for a while and then announces that he's going to take a shower.  It may sound like a small thing, but you try bending over the tub for 5 years and see if you're not dancing the "woo-hoo shower" dance too when bath days are over!!!

Jake has also finally graduated to his booster seat.  I'd been holding off saying he hadn't quite hit the 65 pound limit on his big car seat, but those days are gone as he's regularly over 65 pounds these days.  Personally, I still feel safer with him in the big car seat, but he does look a bit like a teenager sitting in a milk crate back there at times.  Not to mention that he was relentlessly asking for his booster each and every day...so OUT with the car seat and IN with the big boy booster!  At the rate we're going, he'll be asking to drive next.

To my complete and utter surprise, Jake has been beginning to experiment with different foods lately.  The last attempt was with a bean burrito, which he actually really liked.  And at the Jet's game, he asked to have a taste of my meatball sandwich and all I ended up with was one bite of meatball.  He ate it all, right down the last little corner of the roll which he so kindly gave to his momma.  Now, keep in mind, this is the kid who has NEVER eaten a meatball in his life!!  LOVES them now...go figure?

This past weekend, Jake completed his FIRST level of Mental Math and passed the test with an A for speed and an A for accuracy!!!!  The teacher said he's really picked it up fast and that he has a real knack for math (no, really?).  He's earned 2 weeks off and then we're back to start Level 2.  If you're wondering if it really makes much difference, I can tell you it DEFINITELY has.  The other day, we were talking about something taking 3 weeks and he was quick to tell Nanny and I that 3 weeks was the same as 21 days because 7+7=14 and 14+7=21.  Aunt No No will have him down at AC playing Black Jack with her any day now...

School has also been an exciting series of new firsts for Jake.  Some of them good, some not so good.  On the good side, he was given the Dolch Sight Word test by his teacher and went through lists 1, 2, 3 and 4 without missing a single word (about 20 on each list).  So the teacher had him skip to the last list (#11) and he was able to go through that one without missing a word too, so she said he's basically done already with what kids need to know at the END of 1st grade.  Everyone else is working on either list 1 or somewhere in the first 10 and he's now onto learning how to spell the words.  And of course, Nanny is already coming up with creative ways to teach him to spell some of the harder words.  Let's hope for all our sakes she doesn't resort to singing them like she did when she taught him his home phone number. I'm still convinced he learned to memorize it just to get her to stop singing...lol.

Jake is also way ahead on reading and is the only child who is reading chapter books.  Some children don't yet know the sounds that each letter makes, and yet others are reading fairly well, so he's a little ahead of some and a world ahead of others.  He really enjoys reading and sometimes even reads by himself now, which is VERY new for him.

Yet another first for Jake... he officially started CCD (defined as the catholic catechism class that all kids dread, but is necessary in order to make your First Communion and Confirmation which is non-negotiable in a good Italian family).  So far, he complains less about going there than to Mental Math, so counting my blessings on that front.  Although, if I'm being really honest, the very first day that he went there (and yes, it was a disaster because I had actually not signed him up and then had to do everything to get him enrolled all in one day while at work and so I had rushed home early from work to drive him there like a crazy woman), as we pulled in (on time, I might add...and Stac, I heard you say "yeah, right!") he looked out the window and saw the church and said "Momma, what are we doing here?  You know I HATE church!!"  I said "Jake Anthony, how could you say that, God can hear you and  he's going to be SO disappointed".  To which he replied... "OK, hey God,  I'm sorry, I was just kidding."  Then asked "Momma, does he also know when you're not telling the truth too?"  Left me wondering if it was possible to flunk CCD?????

So, on the not so good part, Jake continues to struggle with managing and controlling his emotions.  He's a pure and simple PERFECTIONIST to the extreme and feels that he MUST do everything exactly right and be the absolute BEST at everything.  Obviously, in a class of 20 other children, things don't always work out that way for him and he's having a hard time dealing with that reality.  He also doesn't like to do anything that he feels he won't be GREAT at right from the start.  This really worries me because it translates into not being willing to work hard to get good at anything.  If he's not great right away, or it doesn't come easy to him (as most things have), then he gives up and has a meltdown over it.  Piano is a great example of this because every week we go through the same painful experience.  He gets 2-3 new songs to play and expects to play them PERFECTLY the first time he tries.  When that doesn't happen, he ends up in a rage on the floor, throwing things, banging the keys and shouting that he's the "worstest" piano player in the whole world.  Forget about the fact that he said the very same thing the last week and now plays those songs beautifully without even looking at the music.  There's absolutely NO reasoning with the boy...NONE!

In school, the teacher has this discipline system which involves "turning over a card" from green to yellow if you don't heed her first warning.  Jake has had to turn his card over 3 times already and even went one step further and had a note sent home yesterday.  One day it was because he refused to take a guess at how many objects were in a jar.  It was meant to be a fun exercise to demonstrate the art of estimating and it was done in conjunction with the guess that your parent (in this case, Aunt Bear, who attended Back to School Night for me since I was in Belgium on business) made the night before.  He absolutely refused to make a guess... Why?  Because he was sure he would not get it right.  Can't be perfect, why try?  Why play?  Oy vey!  And over goes the card...

Yesterday, the note came home from school because he got in an arguement with another boy over who was going to be last in line going to lunch and eventually got so frustrated that he spit at him.  (Luckily he hasn't really learned to spit yet, but just read about it in the book "Holes" and decided to give it a try.)  Needless to say, the teacher was not at all pleased.  Earlier in the day, he had his card turned over because the assignment involved drawing a picture of yourself doing something and he refused to draw himself because why????  Because he knew he couldn't draw it as well as other kids could.  So, can't be perfect, why try?  Hmmmm... anyone sensing a pattern here?

I asked the pediatrician for the name of a counselor that specializes in working with children and we now have an appointment for this Saturday.  At the rate things are going, I'm the one that's going to need therapy and possibly some really strong meds...lol.  Who knew 1st grade could be so damn stressful?!?!?!?

On another good note, the extreme and never ending hunger pangs have seemed to subside.  For a while there, all Nanny and I ever heard was "I'm STARVING", which usually was screamed less than a half hour after eating some big meal.  I was starting to think I was going to have to bring Nanny out of retirement and send her back to work to be able to afford to feed him.  I owe a BIG thanks to Ellen (Amy's sister) who was kind enough to listen to me go on and on about how worried I was about his insatiable appetite.  As always, she had some very logical and sound advice for me and was able to quickly talk me off the ledge!  (Thanks, Ellen!!)

That's it for now... Hope everyone is doing well!!

Checking In and Catching Up...

Where did the summer go?  Seems like it was here and gone in the blink of an eye!!  Last I checked we were getting ready for Kindergarten graduation and "blink", it's the first day of 1st grade.  Personally, I think that's taking this whole "time flies" thing a bit too far.  So, where to begin...

I signed Jake up for 2 weeks at Rambling Pines Day Camp, which is this unbelievably awesome camp on 120+ acres of open fields, 4 pools, ponds (including one fully stocked to teach fishing in), streams, rivers, tennis courts, street hockey, basketball courts and a hundred other sports fields.  I was excited for Jake to try this as it would be his first experience at a camp where 90% of the activities were outside.  I was also a bit nervous because his past camp experiences have all been in what you might call very "pampered" places where this was a place where kids really did have to rough it a bit.

Well, to my surprise, the first day he walked off the bus he couldn't wait to tell me that he wanted to go the WHOLE summer.  I waited till the end of the first week to see if maybe this excitement would wane, but it only seemed to grow with each passing day.  So, he ended up attending 7 of the 8 weeks of camp and loving every day!!!  (there was one week where he, Nanny and La La came on a business trip with me to CA and visited with Jake's cousins, Darian and Shay, while I worked)  I know this will come as quite a shock, but he even ended up with a tan this summer...yes, my little casper the ghost with a tan!!  lol

As I mentioned, in the beginning of August, we took a trip with Nanny and La La to CA.  Jake had a good time visiting his cousins and we all spent quite a full day at Disney where he rode every roller coaster in the entire place, including space mountain.  Of course, I still wasn't able to go on any rides that went "around" without feeling sick, but luckily he had his cousins and Aunt Mahsa and Uncle Mike to ride with for those.

Later in August, we held Jake's 6th bday party and it was a rock'in time at his favorite Bounce U place.  We took everyone over to our pool club after bouncing and had a great time swimming and eating pizza all afternoon.  A week earlier, Jake finally PASSED his deep water test at the swim club!!!!!!!!!!!  I could NOT have been more proud of  him...he did it with ease this time!!!!!  (This was his 3rd try)  So he spent all day going off the diving board and down the two water slides with all of his friends.


Gotta love those handsome Bilotti Boys!!!



Lotta love going on here!!

For his birthday, he got a very cool basketball set up for our driveway (from his Aunt Bear and No-No) and we've spent hours and hours out there playing.  He's becoming a real good bball player and will definitely have the height to excel at this game should his interest level continue.  One thing we continue to work on is demonstrating good sportsmanship... he loves to play the game O-U-T, but frequently stomps off into the house when he reaches O-U...he says those are his least favorite letters of the alphabet now...lol

He also got a very cool razor electric go-kart and he rides it like a speed demon up and down the sidewalk and over everyone's lawns.  It's very low to the ground, which I'm hoping means he won't be flipping over any time soon...and has a tall flag on it so that cars can see him flying by.  I've got some video of his first driving experience which I'll try to attach here.

We also had a chance to attend one of the Jets pre-season games and as you can see here, he was very happy to hang out with his Nanny and Pops!!!

Today is the first day of 1st grade in his new school and his first time attending Public School (instead of Montessori)!!!  I'm convinced that  I'm more nervous about it than he is... I even had the urge to run after (or drive after) the bus when it pulled away this morning.  I wish I could sneak up there and take a quick peek in on him to see how he's doing.  We met his new teacher yesterday, Mrs. Francescone, and I now understand why they call her "Barbie"... Nanny was with us and the first thing she said was "wow, we didn't have teachers like that when I was in school"  Of course, Nanny went to Catholic school and had nuns for teachers, so that's probably not a fair comparison.  lol

The classroom was AWESOME!!!  Very big room, with a bathroom right there attached to his room (the school is HUGE and we even got lost trying to find his room so I did have some worries about him finding his way to the bathroom and back by himself...but not any more) and little library area and round tables of 4 children each.  And as luck would have it, the one child he knows in his class is sitting right across from him at his table!!!  And his table is front and center in the room, so hopefully this will help him to stay focused and pay attention (and not talk when he's not supposed to).  I actually considered attaching one of those small wireless lapel microphones to his shirt collar so I could listen in on how his day was going.  Thought I could park out on the street within range and monitor the situation...it's the electrical engineer and mommy combination to blame for these crazy ideas!!

Jakey continues to progress in his Mental Math class, which is a really interesting approach to teaching kids to add, subtract, multiply and divide in their heads by using an abacus to start.  He's able to quickly add and subtract now to sums under 100 and is one chapter away from finishing the first level.  He's also continuing on with his piano lessons and still amazes us on a daily basis with the songs he can play and how he can translate them to his clarinet, saxophone, flute and trumpet.  His teacher feels he has a real talent for music and could one day be a fantastic musician...again, just depends on whether his passion here continues.

Just to catch everyone up on how he's growing (and man, is he growing)...we had his 6yr check-up and he grew 3.25" (he's 4' 2" now) and gained 14 pounds (he's 67 lbs now) this past year.  That puts him at the 99+%...which basically means OFF the charts.  When I look at the chart, he's the size of an average 8 year old!!!!  All other things checked out perfectly...eyes, hearing, etc.  And he looked very cute in his little blue gown...lol

While at Nanny's house last week, I was determined to get him to ride his bike without training wheels.  Nanny's street is really flat (which ours isn't) and so I knew this would be our best opportunity.  After convincing him (translation...bribing him) to give it a try, we were off and running (well, one of us was running).  He was able to do it!!!!  After riding a little ways without me holding on, he made the mistake of trying to just put his feet down to stop and as you might imagine, the bike just kept on going and he ended up tangled up in it...seems I forgot to teach him how to stop...bad mommy!!!  That was it for day 1.  The next day, we gave it another shot and although my head was clearly saying stop running next to him, he's got it now, just stop running...my heart just wouldn't let my legs stop and so I spent the entire time running along side the bike up and down the street.  I'd say we're 98% of the way there...with the 2% being left on my side of the equation and not his!

Over Labor Day, we attended the 3rd annual donor sibling reunion in the Virginia mountains (and I mean backwoods mountains) and had a great time.  This year the kids that attended included Hallie, Baby Lea, Ben, Jessica and Jonah.  Unfortunately, Abby (one of Hallie and Lea's moms) wasn't able to attend this year because of work, so Sharon and I made the trip together.  For those who know Abby, you know that she is usually the one who has everything planned out and is ready for any and all eventualities...so I was a little nervous to see how Sharon and I would fare on our own.  I'm happy to report that we managed to return with all 3 children in tact and even managed to keep them fed and rested and happy while we were away...though we did certainly miss Abby a lot!

The kids picked up as thought they just saw each other last week (and not a year or more ago) and it was very interesting to see how much they've all grown and how much they still resemble each other.  We were fortunate that Ben's moms, Rebecca and Claire, hosted the event at their new weekend home as it was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL place with 5 bedrooms and a big pool in the backyard.  It's wonderful to have this connection to them all and for Jake to continue to develop these relationships with his half-brothers and sisters!!

Well, I think that about catches us up now.  As always, here are some memorable Jakey quotes from the past couple of months...

"Momma, it's not fair (which is by far, his favorite thing to say these days) that you and Nanny get to stay up and I have to go to bed.  You told me that you have to sleep to grow and you and Nanny need to grow as much as I do because Nanny says you're both munchkins."

To his sister this past weekend "You're definitely part of my family because your dad is my dad and even though he doesn't know it, we know it so that's all that matters."

To his Nanny while I was away on a business trip... "Nanny, why can't we ride with the top on your car down just because it's raining?  We each have an umbrella and we can put it up while you drive."  To which Nanny replied... "because a policeman will see us and arrest Nanny for being a nutcase".  Which only made him want to try it more.

"Momma, I don't want to go to mental math today.  Why do I need to know how to do math anyway?  Pops bought me my own adding machine and I can just take it with me everywhere and add anything I want."

"Momma, how old do I have to be before I can have my own car?"  To which I reply, "well, you have to be 16 to drive, but even then you don't automatically get a car when you get your drivers license."  And he said... "OK, well then I want to start saving now for my car, ok mom?  I have that jar of quarters that I've been saving for practicing my piano and doing my math homework, so I should be really close to having enough already."  Hmmmm...maybe for a matchbox car?

After asking why his Aunt Bear had to go and ride her bike in the middle of his birthday party... "Why does Aunt Bear have to ride her bike all the time, Momma?  Does she need money for gas for her car, I can give her some of my quarters?  As long as she pays me back when I'm ready to buy my own car."  Wow, if that's all it took, we'd all give her gas money...lol

Walking out of the pediatrician's office after his 6 yr check-up... "Mom, why did Dr P ask me if I knew the alphabet?  I bet she was confused and thought I was only 3 today."  Hmmm, not likely considering you're as tall as an 8 year old.

After passing his deep water swim test (on the 3rd attempt and after significant bribing to even try again)... "Mom, why did you look so worried, it was "easy peasy".  Well, sure, after I had to drag you here kicking and screaming.

To his friend at the pool... "We have to go now because I have to go and meet "MY posse".  To which his friend replied... "what is a posse?"  Then, with a look of confusion, Jake asked "what do you mean, don't you have a posse too?"

After one of our all too frequent debates about him always being hungry... "Momma, I'm starving!!  Why won't you let me have any more to eat?  I know, you're starving me so you won't have to buy me any new clothes."  Hmmm, would that actually work?

Well, that's probably more than enough for now!  Hope everyone enjoyed the summer...or the blur that appeared to be summer, anyway.

Separation Anxiety, Reaction to Medicine or a Little of Both???

For some reason, I've always thought of  "separation anxiety" as something that only happens during the infant and toddler ages.  Ironically, Jake never really suffered from it and instead, has always been really good at transitions, especially between people who were very close to him (for example, staying with his Aunt Bear while I go to see a Broadway Show with my mom for her birthday).  As a matter of fact, I often thought "wow, I don't think he even misses me when I leave" because I would typically get a "running away kiss" (the kind where you have to grab what you can get because they're already running to the other person) and barely a "bye momma" as I was leaving.  I always took comfort in the fact that he felt that secure and safe and that he never worried that I wouldn't return or that he wouldn't be safe with whoever I left him with.

Well, that was then and this is now and now he's 5 (about to be 6 in 2 months) and now, is a whole different story...  Over the past six weeks or so, Jake has had some really difficult times at school.  He's been in varying degrees of "trouble" ranging from the not so atypical (for his age) not listening days to actually hitting/kicking/pinching other children.  The worst incident resulted in him being sent home from school.  (YES, sent home!!  His mommy definitely lost countless nights sleep over that one.) 

This happened to coincide with a span of time when I was traveling a little more than usual for work, but since this has not been an issue in the past, I wasn't really thinking this had much to do with it.  That is, until I left for a course at Harvard where I had to be gone almost 6 days...definitely the longest I've ever been gone.  During that week, Jake was literally in trouble at school EVERY SINGLE day.  By Thursday, things were so bad that after having absolutely no luck trying to reason with him (AKA... me talking, him not listening) where he was basically inconsolable on the phone, I called my assistant and had her book me an immediate flight home that same night.

I didn't arrive from Boston until almost midnight and he was, of course, fast asleep already.  As I stood there by  his bed and rubbed his hair, he opened up his eyes groggily, closed them, then opened them quickly again and reached out to touch my face...almost as if to see if I was really there.  When he realized I was indeed there, he jumped up and into my arms and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed while wrapping himself tightly around me.  I held him all night long and he finally fell back to sleep while I lay there struggling to figure out what was going on???

My mom suggested I talk to my cousin Michael's wife, Mahsa, who works professionally with adults and children (as a psychologist or psychiatrist out in CA) and during the conversation we started to piece the whole thing together.  During the prior weeks, there had been some unusual things that had happened that I hadn't really put together.  First, Jake had a very bad nightmare that Nanny had died.  He cried the next day as he told me that he didn't want Nanny to die and although I tried to reassure him that Nanny wasn't sick, you could see that he was still very scared about it. 

A few days later, we were leaving his piano lesson and out of the blue he said to me "momma, I don't want you to get married".  I actually had to laugh at first because I would imagine that I'd have to even have some time to date and then someONE to actually date for that to even be a remote possibility, so I wasn't sure where this had come from!  LOL  But then I realized he was very serious, so I asked him why he didn't want me to get married?  He said that he just didn't and that he didn't want to share me.  Then, while we were riding down in the elevator, he said, "Momma, if you do get married, can Nanny and I come with you?"  At first I thought he was asking about the honeymoon or something, but then quickly realized he was asking if he could come and live with me or if I would leave him behind????  Needless to say, this came as quite a shock to me!!!  Once again, I tried to reassure him that we are a "package deal", but he still seemed worried.

Next, he progressed to a very bad nightmare where he refused to talk about what happened in the dream and all he would tell me was that I had died, but nothing else.  Then, while driving home after finding out about yet another incident at school he had a complete and total meltdown...he started crying, yelling, kicking the seat and all of these things started pouring out of his mouth..."you wish you didn't have a child, you wish you had another child, a good child, you want to send me away, you want to give me away, you think I'm "bad", you're sorry you have me, you're disappointed in me, you're mad at me, you don't love me, you're going to make me live with someone else..." and on, and on, and on.  No matter what I said, he wouldn't listen to me.  Needless to say, it SCARED THE CRAP out of me!!!!!!!!!!!

When Mahsa and I discussed all of this, she felt as thought he was definitely experiencing some sort of extreme separation anxiety and that he didn't feel safe/secure.  She asked if I spend time with him "one on one" and I had to laugh because anyone who knows me knows that I literally have NO life without Jake!!  I have work and Jake and that's it.  Anything I do outside of work, whether with family or friends or both ALWAYS includes Jake.  I have no personal hobbies, nothing I do just for me, nothing other than my time at work that keep me from Jake.  And most of our time IS spent one on one or involved in one of his many activities...gymnastics (where I stand and watch), piano (where I sit in on the lesson and watch), t-ball (where I'm there cheering), etc.

However, I did have to admit that I often times find myself trying to "multi-task" while with Jake.  Let's be honest, Nanny takes care of all of us the 2-3 days she's at our house, but the other days, I do have things that I have to get done...pay bills, wash dishes, cook, clean up, get stuff ready for school/work, etc.  And I know that at times, he can tell/feel that I'm not 100% with him, even when I am with him, especially when my work bubbles over into early mornings and late nights.  So, I've made a commitment to be more "in the moment" when I'm with him and that seems to be making a big difference (so far).

This week and last week, Jake basically had a GREAT day EVERY day at school.  As I was thinking about the possible reasons for this remarkable improvement, I realized that the trouble began exactly when his allergies had flared up (badly) and I started to give him allergy medication both in the morning and at night.  Now, Jake has had issues with certain cold medications in the past where they made him edgy and aggressive and so we avoid those (like the plague).  That was a long time ago (I know, how long ago could it have been since he's only 5 right?),  and considering how BAD (and I mean BAD) his allergies were I didn't really think about it before giving him the medicine.  Coincidentally, the trouble stopped exactly when we stopped giving him the medicine.  And (a BIG, HUGE knock on wood happening here) we haven't seen any signs of that kind of behavior since.

So, question is, could this truly be a coincidence or could it have been a reaction to the allergy meds???  I can tell you this...we won't be running any controlled experiments to find out!!!!!  For a while there, I was wondering if we were both going to require a lifetime of therapy.  LOL (OK, I can almost laugh about it now, but was truly on the verge of a nervous breakdown a few weeks ago)

Here are a couple of pics from our recent trip to Punta Cana and some from t-ball, which he LOVES this year and is actually doing really, really well!!  (And of course, looks so cute in his blue uniform!!)

 The gang in Punta Cana

 T-ball team is the Rockhounds (LOL)

 Sort of in a ready position

 A little better

 VERY excited about the ball coming his way... and he caught it and threw it to 1st!!

 Just looking cool (and cute)

 If he ever really puts his weight into it, it's going to go a long, long way

Pops says there may be hope for him yet

A Couple of Recent Conversations With Jake...

In an attempt to put a stop to some recent bad behavior (talking back, not listening, etc.), we've begun to use Super Nanny's (the show on TV, not our Super Nanny who used to be Bad Nanny) timeout technique which she refers to as the "naughty step" or "naughty seat", depending obviously on the spot you select.  We've gone with the "naughty step" and needless to say, Jake is NOT at all fond of the technique and/or the step or me when I use it.  (And to be honest, I shouldn't say "we're" using this technique, because truth be told, Nanny prefers to put HERSELF in time out and just retreat to her room when he gives her a hard time...she might be the smart one here.)

A few days ago, he was particularly riled up when I placed him on the naughty step and began what turned out to be a 5 minute rambling of various little things to try to get me as riled up as him.  Here are some of the excerpts (which are fit for printing)...

"Momma, you are the "worstest" and meanest mommy on the block, in NJ, in the United States, in North America in the world...oh, and on Saturn too."  Who knew, there were mommies on Saturn?!?  LOL 

"Momma, you let me off this step right now or else I'm going to write a letter to Santa and he's not going to bring you ANY presents next year"...

"Mom, when I get bigger than you, I'm going to make YOU sit on this step all day and all night until your butt hurts"...(hmmm, lucky for me that I happen to have a lot of padding back there)...

"Mommy is a big bad baby,  and nobody likes her...Quincey, do you like her?  I don't either.  Mommy, Quincey doesn't like you either."  Hmmm, didnt know Q was harboring all of those bad feelings inside all these years... the little traitor dog...LOL

"Momma, you're in BIG trouble now because God is watching you and you're gonna have a lot of explaining to do or you're going to have to go to that place with all the fire now.  And Nanny isn't going to say anymore prayers for you either!"...

"Mom, I'm just "agnoring" (his version of annoying and ignoring) you now.  So you should just let me off this step because you're going to feel worse than I do when it's done"... he's sometimes right on that one.

"Mommy, when I get off this step, I'm calling my Nanny and she's YOUR mommy and she's going to make YOU sit on the step and that's a WHOLE lot of minutes that you'd have to stay here"... (it's one minute for every year old you are...so that translates into you are a WHOLE lot old, mom)

"Mommy, I have to go potty really bad and if you make me hold it that's going to not be good for my body and everything will back up into my large intestine" and then Aunt Bear is going to get mad at you because I'll have to go to "my" emergency room and she'll have to come there because you can't ever be there by yourself and I don't think you want Aunt Bear to be mad at you too, do you?... (First Santa, then God, then Nanny and now AB?) 

Now the technique calls for absolutely NO talking to him while he's on the step and it takes EVERYTHING I have to not go over there and get into some useless debate with him about the things he's saying or drop kick him into the neighbor's yard.  Can't be sure who's happier to hear the 5 minute timer go off...him or me?!?!?  LOL

Conversation #2:

As I was putting Jake to bed tonight he's tossing and turning and I'm trying to rub his back and praying that he will settle down and go to sleep (already).  As his eyes are just beginning to close, they pop back open wide and he says "Momma?"  To which I reply, "no talking Jake, it's bedtime."  But he continues... "Momma, I have to ask you something really important."  OK, Jake, what is it?  "Momma, is 24 + 24 equal to 48? Because I know that 25 + 25 = 50 and I think if I take 1 off of 25 and 1 off the other 25 then that would be 2 less than 50, which would be 48.  Is that right, Momma?"  YES, Jake, that's right!  "So here's the real question, Momma...how can you add two odd numbers (25+25) and get an even number like 50 and also add two even numbers like 24+24 and ALSO get an even number like 48?"  Now, it's 8:30 and I haven't eaten anything yet for dinner and I'm still in my work clothes and I left the house early this morning and haven't stopped all day at work and then took him to gymnastics, fed him and gave him a bath and now, he wants to have an in depth discussion about mathematical properties?!?!?!?  One side of my brain is saying... "encourage him, this is fantastic, he's only 5 and he totally has a brain made for math"  while the other side is saying..."you're tired, you're hungry, you're still in your work clothes, for Christ sake, just say you don't know and make him go to sleep"...Any guesses which path I took?

A couple of days ago, Nanny made her daily trip to WaWa for her sacred cup of coffee and picked up a "surprise" for Jake.  When she got home, she told him that if he was good, he would get a surprise.  Of course, he asked what it was and she told him that it was a "surprise" and that she couldn't tell him.  Well about 5 minutes later, he picks up the receipt from the store and says "Nanny, I know what the surprise is!  It says on here that you bought a coffee, the newspaper and a DONUT for me!!"  Well, this shocked Nanny so much that she had to call me at work to tell me...I didn't have the heart to tell her that he can read just about anything now!!!

As I always say...Life with Jake is NEVER, EVER boring...

Catching Up With Jake

This morning started off with one of the funniest emails of the year... it came from Aunt Amy and the subject was: "I would like to lodge a complaint" and it went on to point out that it has been half past forever since I provided an update on our boy. So, here I sit at midnight in hopes of somehow catching you all up on the past couple of months...

Since my last post, Jake has officially hit 4 ft tall and is closing in on 65lbs (so much for the super duper car seat that was supposed to last him until he was 7, little did I know he would hit the 65lb weight limit at 5). If I'm being honest, I'm not sure how the boy manages to grow like he does when you consider what he eats...or better yet, what he won't eat. He's still a great vegetable and fruit eater, which I'm sure helps, but still VERY fussy when it comes to any kind of protein (Aunt Bear will not like to hear this). The only beef he's eaten in the last 3+ years has been maybe a half of 2 hamburgers and the beef he gets in hot dogs, which is only because he doesn't know they're beef.

His typical response these days is that he's going to eat "meat" when he turns 10. Not sure what's with the age of 10, but it seems a lot of things are going to start happening when he hits that magical number. I'm embarrassed to say that the only chicken he eats is chicken nuggets and even though I buy the all white meat kind, I still don't feel all that good about feeding it to him. But without them, he would literally eat NO meat at all. What's a mommy to do?!?!

His absolute favorite food continues to be the special pumpkin bread that his Pops makes for him every 2 weeks. Poor Pops is coming up on his 3rd year (yes, YEAR) of baking pumpkin bread and the worst part is that he's not even allowed to experiment a little. Jake knows if even one ingredient has been changed and he sends Pops back to follow the original recipe. I guess there are worse favorite foods to have and frequently remind myself that it's at least not candy.

Speaking of candy... In spite of the fact that he eats VERY little candy, we had quite a shock at his last dentist visit. The boy had 4, yes 4, cavities!!!! I felt shocked, scared, mad, sad, guilty and was on the verge of a breakdown when the dentist delivered the news. I completely over-reacted and went directly to the store and bought a flossing electric toothbrush, a waterpik, 12 packs of different flossers, and went on line to purchase a bunch of these xylatol candies that kill the bacteria in your mouth. Yes, I was freaking out!!!

So, the cavities were between his back teeth (something I had never even heard of) and we had to go to a pediatric specialist to get them fixed. Aunt Bear volunteered to come to the specialist with us, more for morale support for me than for Jakey. And in the end, he did FANTASTIC and didn't even know that they had drilled at all!!!!! Aunt Bear and I sat in the waiting room and watched a movie (for bad and neglectful mommies) and he was in there all by himself and didn't cry a tear or make any fuss at all. After all those sleepless nights I had worried that he would be traumatized for life...he came out smiling. I was SO proud of him!!!

I have to tell you though, I still can NOT believe that with all of the brushing we do, he had any cavities, let alone 4, but the dentist proceeded to tell me that he had to floss at least twice a day to keep it from happening again. Now OK, I can see that for an adult (not that I do that), but for a 5 year old child?!?!?!? Floss twice a day?!?!?! Let me tell you, we've been on this regiment for the past 2 months and it would be easier to get the devil dog, Quincy, to let me do it. I'm convinced that five year boys and floss just don't go together...lol

OK, enough about teeth... On the school front, he continues to excel and is now totally obsessed with learning how to write in cursive. This wouldn't be an issue if his printing was really good, but being a boy and being lefty makes for not so great handwriting...when you add cursive on top of that, it's anybodies guess what the heck he's writing. He's turning into a really amazing reader and even reads with inflection, understanding how to use question marks and exclamation points. He still prefers to be read to vs reading to someone else, but he can certainly do it when he wants to. The only downside is the better he gets, the harder it becomes to tell him he can't do something because something "says so"... now he sounds out the words and comes back and tells me that he thinks I am mistaken. I guess I knew that day was coming...

He definitely inherited his "cleverness" (otherwise known as "common sense") from the donor since my dad has been telling me my whole life that I have absolutely none. I was trying to distract him while brushing his teeth one night and I asked him how many teeth he had and he said "20". So, I asked him what letter that would be, again just trying to buy myself some time, and he said "T". Now, I really wasn't sure it was T (I know, WHY do I doubt him), so I suggested we check and started to count up from A. I got to about E before he stopped me and pointed out that it would be much easier to count backwards from Z because we only would have to go down 6 instead of counting up 20. Can you say, Scary freak'in smart?!?!?... and bound to be a total handful when he's a teenager.

He frequently comes out with some good remarks and I always find myself wishing I had the time to write them down... here are a few recent ones that I can actually remember:

* "Momma, can you ask the Easter Bunny to leave me a note with the number of eggs he leaves inside and outside so I can know when to stop looking? He doesn't need to add them up, I can do that part myself." (well, won't the Easter Bunny be relieved to hear that...lol)

* As we pass by an ambulance stopped on the side of the road..."Oh well, there's another dead person." To which I replied "WHAT?!?!" And he said "well, every time there's an "ambilance" on those shows I watch with JJ on TV, the person is dead". Now I know why I don't like to let him watch TV with JJ.

* In response to me telling him that I wouldn't do something he insisted I do... "Mommy, you HAVE to do it because it's your JOB to make me happy!!" Hmmm, I don't like the sound of that.

* In response to my request to clean up his dinner plate and spot at the table... "Mommy, that's not right, everyone knows that kids make the messes and mommies clean them up." Well, guess I missed that in the fine print.

* After hitting the ball off the T and running down to 1st base with the bat still in his hands the next batter came down to get the bat and he replies "hey, get your own bat, this one is mine" LOL When the coach comes down to try to explain that he has to leave the bat by home plate...he replies "but coach, you told me to hold onto the bat"... and he was right actually.

* As we're building the 300 piece world puzzle (for like the 100th time)... "Mommy, do you see the country in Africa that looks like the same shape as the United Kingdom?" I'm lucky I know which is Africa and without labeling, I'm not sure I can even pick out the UK.

* In response to my mom telling him that she and La La had visited Spain and Morocco... "Sure, Nanny, that's because they're only separated by about 9 miles." WHO knows this stuff at 5? Heck, who knows this stuff period?!?!?

*On the first Sunday after Super Bowl Sunday, he says to Pops... "Pops I'm so happy because Sundays are actually going to be fun again because NO MORE FOOTBALL!!!" Breaking his momma's heart!!!!!!!!

Speaking of sports...On the T-ball front, after an initial rough start when No-No and Aunt Bear took him to the first session and he had a total meltdown (lol, lol, welcome to my world)... he's actually doing FANTASTIC. OK, so you need to keep in mind that we tend to define anything athletic related that he does without crying, pleading, begging, refusing to get out of the car or off my lap, as basically GREAT. So, fantastic is a step or two beyond that. He actually really likes T-ball now and has even moved up to the Majors now!!! Woo-hoo for Moo Moo!!! Here's the real shocker, though, our LEFTY hits and throws RIGHTY. Go figure?!?!?! I'm just happy to see him out there running around and having fun. (And believe me, there was a time that I thought it was going to take years of therapy for me to say that...) He's also still in gymnastics and continues to be the only boy (and not notice this) and at almost 65 pounds is certainly giving the instructors a work out as they lift and support him on the bars and rings.

One last exciting piece of news... I finally got off my butt and found a place for him to take piano lessons and he's gone for a couple so far. The teacher last Saturday asked him how many sets of 2 black keys there were on the piano and Jake quickly looked from one end to the other. The teacher tried to show him how he could count them by pointing to them and he said "why would I do that when I already know there are 7". Then when asked about the sets of 3, he said "there are exactly the same number". The teacher just looked at me...another one of those times that I'm just not sure what to say.

He's SO into music these days and can actually play some simple songs on ALL of his instruments...the keyboard, clarinet, flute, sax, trumpet and even his guitar. He can even tell you the notes as he's playing them and just seems to have an "ear" for figuring out the tune. Nanny bought him a few beginner books and he's already playing songs like "Beautiful Brown Eyes" from memory... I thought he was reading the notes from the book (which I was already impressed with) and then Nanny told me that the book wasn't even open. My only hope is that the teacher goes fast enough to keep him interested. They only do 15 min lessons for 5 year olds and for a kid that can sit at his keyboard for 90 mins, that just doesn't seem like enough. But, we'll see how it goes.

Jakey also took his first and second ski lesson a few weeks ago. The first one was a private lesson and it went really well (after some initial tears over falling). The second one was with Jordan and they were both part of a group lesson which was not well organized. GG and I complained and we were able to get a free private lesson for them both, so hopefully we'll get one more lesson in before the season is over. Good news is he considers himself a "good skier"...not sure about the accuracy of his rating scale, but I'll take it!

OK, I'm sure I've left out a hundred things, but that should hopefully catch everyone up somewhat anyway. I won't even promise to add in some pictures, because truth be told, I just finished his 5 yr book tonight and there will be plenty of pics to share when it arrives.

Hugs and kisses from Jakey and me!

Has Anyone Seen My Missing Blogging Time?

I seem to have misplaced or maybe even totally lost the time I used to have to blog. Oh yeah, I think I actually use that time to sleep once in a while now. LOL Isn't it funny how life always seems to get in the way????

Jakey's doing great these days and he continues to grow like a weed. He's hit 60 pounds and is almost 4 feet tall (yes, at 5 he's the size of an average 7 year old) and has the brainpower to match. Now if only his emotional and social skills could catch up we'd be in business;-)

Kindergarten is going really well and he's reading and continues to enjoy math a lot. His latest favorite math thing is to tell you how multiplication and division work "together"... like 5 x 2 = 10 and 10 / 5 = 2. It was quite a hoot watching him try to explain that one to Nanny!!!

His other favorite thing these days continues to be geography. Something he CLEARLY got from the donor because I couldn't even put a map of the USA together if my life depended on it... I tend to get lost in the middle there somewhere. He, on the other hand, can do it in his sleep. And he's progressed to doing puzzles of Europe, Africa, South America, North America (including Canada) and Asia. One day while he was sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner with Uncle JJ, he asked (very innocently) "JJ, what's around France?" After looking at me with a "deer in the headlights look", my brother said "water???" Then Jake said, "no, JJ, do you know what countries around around France?" My brother said "no", so Jakey proceeded to tell him the countries and when he got to Luxembourg, JJ stood up, took his plate and said "this is wrong on SO many levels" and went downstairs to the "man cave" to finish his dinner. It was priceless!! So, be careful, if you run into him these days, he may have a world geography quiz for you.

It's amazing how math and geography come into play in so many of the day to day things that we do too. Tonight, he wanted to try my toothpaste and I was trying to explain to him that I thought it was going to be too "hot" for him and so he asked me to put a "Rhode Island" size drop of toothpaste on his toothbrush. "Rhode Island size"??? Who says that??

A few weeks ago he was telling me about how the kids in his class were telling him that the difference between countries and states was purely related to size. He says "momma, that's not at all true because look at Luxembourg, it would easily fit within the state of Texas. But I didn't tell them because I didn't want them to feel bad for being wrong." Left me wondering how many times I'm wrong and he spares me the embarrassment?!?! LOL

Aunt Bear, Scuzzle and Poppy came over for Christmas dinner and AB was telling a story about one of our trips to the Dominican Republic and she couldn't remember our personal concierge's name. After asking me, which is the equivalent of asking a rock these days (since I gave ALL of my memory brain cells to Jake), she all of a sudden thought wait a minute...I can just ask Jakey. He was in the middle of working on something and without even looking up he says "his name was Oliver". No hesitation, no extra time to think about it, just boom...his name was Oliver. The kid never forgets a thing.

We had a Santa close call this past weekend... Jake has figured out how to climb up onto the roof of this big playhouse that we have in his play room (what normal people would call their formal living room) and slide down with a big BANG onto the floor. Now, when JJ is downstairs, this sounds like about a 7.2 on the Richter Scale. So, I was asking him to please NOT drop down when JJ was downstairs and he was laughing saying he was going to do it because he, of course, thought the whole thing was hilarious (I haven't managed to catch onto 5 yr old humor yet. Luckily though, he and Nanny seem to be on the same wavelength most of the time.). I told him that if he did it again, I was going to remove the roof on the house and that I put it together and I could take it apart. To which he replied, "you didn't put it together, Santa brought me this house". I could hear JJ chuckle in the kitchen like...oooh, you got yourself into this one, Sis. So, I quickly said that Santa leaves directions for these types of things for all parents. And moved us on to another subject. Whewwww...close call, but glad to know that the whole "Santa thing" is still alive and well in our house!!

Speaking of Santa, Jake got an amazing set of instruments for Christmas and has been playing them every day. He now has 3 trumpets (a tub one, a play one and a real one), a clarinet, flute, recorder, drum, saxophone, xylophone, violin and the most awesome keyboard you've ever seen. On Christmas day, the conductor assigned everyone an instrument and Nanny, Aunt Bear, Poppy, Scuzzle and I played song after song (though truth be told, I think we laughed more than we played). I've got to find the pictures of that event, it was quite funny to see everyone and even Poppy was playing his assigned instrument!!! Later Sunshine Mary stopped by and we had to strike up the band again so she could join in. I'm sure the neighbors were loving it...especially the real trumpet.

Back before Christmas, Jake and I had a chance to spend a long weekend out in Flagstaff Arizona visiting an old Chico State University friend of mine, DC and her 5 year old daughter, Izze. (Who, of course, is counted as one of Jake's many "sisters" now) We had a blast and the kids seemed as much like longtime friends as DC and I by the time we left. It was during this trip that Jakey got the chance to try a real bugle and surprisingly he was able to play it on the very first try. DC convinced me that he had a real talent for music and that's where the idea came from for all of the instruments for Christmas. Hopefully I'll get my butt in gear and find him a place to take some lessons soon.

After way, way, way too long, we also were able to catch up with our Fav Four Pak... Hallie, Baby Lea (who isn't a baby anymore but the closest thing we have these days), Abby and Sharon for a day at one of those cool play (more like exploration) places. I have some good pics from that day too, just have to find them. The kids had a blast together and Jakey just loves, loves, loves his sisters!!!!!

Well that's it for now... here are couple of new pics and I'm going to add a couple new ones to the website too. Back soon...(I hope)

Jakey and Izze in Arizona

Jakey and his girl, Jordan