Kindergarten Graduation

Kindergarten Graduation

Crossing the finish line at the NJ Marathon

Life with Jake...

Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Sneak Preview

Hello from the land of illness...
After being cooped up in the house for the past week...first with H1N1 and then with pneumonia, (because God knows when we get sick in this house, we get REALLY sick...NO messing around!!)...Spiderman is ready to hit the neighborhood in hopes of scoring mega candy (not that he even likes 10% of it, but it's the hunt that matters).

Here's a few pics of him trying out the costume. Taken seconds before he tried out his best Fly Off the Bed... "Catch me Mommy!!!!" Worked out well for one of us...can you guess which one?



Happy Trick or Treating everyone!!
G and Jake

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Our 1st Trip To The Principal's Office...

Incident Report:
When: this past Monday around 3 pm What: The call every mother dreads Why: Who the heck knows why kids do what they do? (Though, as you'll see, I've got no shortage of excuses)

Let me take you for a short walk in my shoes...
Ring, Ring... "Ms. Bilotti, I need to talk with you about Jake's behavior at school today..."
(Silently I'm thinking...Hmmmm...this doesn't sound good. Followed by..Ya think? Followed quickly by... Oh God, did he bite someone again? Is he back to tackling people? And already thinking that whatever it was that he did, it wasn't his fault!!!)

"The past few days of school, we've been seeing some behavioral problems in class with Jake" (I'm thinking...OK, so why the heck did you wait so long to call me? Notice how I'm already deflecting...I think this comes naturally to mommies...LOL) "He's been calling the other children names and not following direction" To which I reply... "Oh my, that's terrible, I'm so upset to hear that" (While thinking... hey, maybe they deserved to be called those names? Maybe they called him names first? Maybe they're being mean to him?)

"Ms. Bilotti has anything been going on at home that may be upsetting Jake? Has he been sleeping OK?" To which I reply "No, there's nothing out of the ordinary going on here...he does have a cold though and he didn't sleep well last night and was up at 4:30 this morning, so I'm sure he's very tired today" (While thinking...as am I, which is why I'm feeling a little cranky about this call and your questions about what trauma I may be exposing him to at home and after all, the poor kid has a cold, and is really tired and when I'm sick and tired, I also sometimes want to call people names...actually, I'm really tempted to call you some names right now, if I'm being honest, that is...LOL)

"We tried to get Jake to go down to the Principal's Office today and he refused to go. So, I told him that I would be calling you and he got very upset by this, but I felt it was important for me to still call" To which I reply... "He wouldn't go? Oh, no, that's terrible. I'm very glad you called so I can talk with him and get this straightened out" (While thinking... Well, of course he wouldn't go, hell, I wouldn't go either if you gave me a choice? And yes, I'm very glad you called because now I can find out who's picking on him and straighten THEM out...actually, maybe I'll send Nanny, she's really good at that...LOL)

Call ends and off I go to pick up my little Angel turned Devil early from school. I drag him kicking and screaming to the Principal's office and as it turns out, the Principal suggested that it may actually be the new cough/cold medicine that I started giving him at the exact time that they started seeing these changes in his behavior. (Turns out she has even better excuses than I do...go figure?) But seriously, we were also seeing signs of this at home as well. Think 4 year old on a combination of ice cream, cotton candy, cake, cookies and a few doses of chocolate on top...that's what he had been like (withOUT any of that crap). Nanny and I had been drawing straws to see who got first dibs to hang themselves on the flagpole out front should he decide to get up at 4:30 am again. She pulled the "senior citizen" card again...SO unfair.

So, needless to say, we immediately took him "off the juice" (oh no, wait, that's JJ)... off the medicine and we've been witnessing a slow and steady return to a normal state of chaos. Might be hard to discern with the naked eye, but crystal clear to Nanny and I. I've also had to reinstate the "no TV if you have a bad day at school" policy. Which ironically only works because he wants whatever it is he can't have...even though we typically don't even watch TV after school.

While putting him to bed that night, I asked him what names he was actually calling the kids at school and in light of the fact that I was expecting something like "butthead", "stupid", "poopy head" (a house favorite)...it shocked me when he said "Momma, I called them Giraffe, Hippamapotomus (Hippo in Jake speak), Cow, Cat, Duck" It took everything I had not to laugh out loud and of course, I did my best to reinforce how "bad" it was to call someone a Giraffe, while all the while thinking "oh come on now, that's all he did?!?!?"

Fingers crossed that we've seen the last of the Principal's office, at least for quite a while!!! Cause I think I may be all out of viable excuses at this point. That's all for now...

Friday, October 9, 2009

Searching For State Quarters...

As our boy continues to learn the states, he's become very interested in collecting state quarters. In an effort to avoid having these quarters lined up randomly all over the house, I bought him one of those state quarter US maps and he's been putting them in all the right places over the past month.

Nanny and I have exhausted every source of quarters that we might have (and some we never even knew we had...LOL) and yet there are quite a few he's still in search of. Last night he asked if we couldn't just "get some help from some of the people who love me"...which I thought was way too cute. So, here's the official call for help...

The list of missing quarters includes:
California
Wyoming
Minnesota
Tennessee
Texas
Alabama
Massachusetts
Maine
Guam
Puerto Rico
US Virgin Islands
American Sanibel (huh?)
He's offering a BIG kiss and even BIGGER hug for anyone you might be able to find!!! Happy Friday!!

p.s. Attaching a few pictures from his pumpkin picking school trip yesterday. As you can see, always surrounded by the ladies!! Last night was his first night as his new gymnastics program and finally, some kind of sport that he LOVED!! More on that, including video and pics, later...


Do you even see any other boys in sight?


Holding hands...











Wednesday, October 7, 2009

"Momma, is that my daddy"


Tonight when getting ready for our bedtime ritual of reading books, Jake selected a very special book that was created for him by his Aunt Amy and Aunt CC not long after he was born. It was the first time that we had read it where he could really understand what the words meant and could actually follow the story. To say he was fascinated by the book, would have to be the understatement of the year. There, in writing, was the story of his birth...what he weighed, how long he was, who came to see him, and how much we all adored him.

As we made our way through this incredible book, we stopped and talked about every picture on every page and he was quick to make up some memory that he was sure was real about what we were doing on each page. (He loves to tell me what he remembers about being a baby) It was such a special experience to read these pages with him and see the fascination at hearing about his own birth. I had read it to him many, many times before, but always when he was too young to understand what it was I was reading. Then, somehow, we managed to "lose" the book among the hundreds of books we've amassed over the past 4 years...that is, until tonight.

So, we get to the very end of the book and the last page shows a picture of a man walking with a woman who is carrying a baby. And with pure innocence comes the question I knew would someday come, but still somehow have no good answer for... "Momma, is that my daddy?" It was as if time stood still. I felt myself actually catch my breath and I thought for a moment that my heart skipped a beat. Such a simple question, right? Should only require a simple answer, right? And yet, I had none, and thus, I said nothing.


And so, he asked again... "Momma, that man there in the picture walking with you...is that my daddy?" In the 3 seconds that followed, ten thousand things flew through my mind... All at once I felt sad...for not having a simple answer and knowing that I never would, I felt guilty...for making what one might deem a selfish decision to have a child on my own, one who would never know what it's like to have a "daddy", I felt a sense of panic... like maybe he was asking because he felt that something or someone was missing in his life...because he saw the other kids at school with daddies and felt deprived to not have one of his own.

Not wanting to let him sense all of these random thoughts, I said the first thing I could think of ... no, I think that's Pops walking with us. And just as he had done on every other page, he came up with a memory and said "oh, that's right, I remember when I was a baby and Pops was helping you to bring me in the house so we could watch the Jets play". And with that, for him, the conversation was over. No second thoughts, no lingering "daddy" questions, just our usual hugs and kisses and snuggles in his bed. I, on the other hand, remain a little shell shocked by the whole event.

And so the questions remain...what do you say to a 4 year old who has an anonymous donor for a daddy? If I tell him some of what I know about his daddy, how do I explain that he can't EVER meet him or talk to him? Is it easier to not miss something/someone that you know little or nothing about? Do I say things that are easier to understand, but not quite the truth knowing that I will likely have to explain why I was untruthful at some point? (Those things never seem to turn out well) And knowing Jake, and how bright he is, do I risk creating some alternate reality that he, even at age 4, sees right through?? This is, after all, not your average 4 year old we're talking about.
He reminded me of this just today when we were leaving his school and I looked up to find the American flag at half mast and he turned to me and said "momma, did you never know that they put the flag half way down the pole when a policeman or fireman dies (this one is in front of a fire station) and when it's way up at the top, that means that nobody has died?" And that was only minutes after he had shown me on the globe how places that are located close to the "line" (AKA, the equator) are really hot and those at the top and bottom are freezing cold with polar bears. So, I'm thinking some little made up story isn't going to cut it...
Well, no answers tonight, just questions. So, I'm off to my favorite website (Amazon.com) to order a bunch of books on the subject...will be sure to let you know what I find out. Oh, and any and all advice is welcomed!!!!!

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010

Nanny & Pops

Nanny & Pops

First Day of School!

First Day of School!

Going to 1st Grade!!!

Going to 1st Grade!!!

Jake & His Girl Jordan

Jake & His Girl Jordan

Jake Turns 4!!

Jake Turns 4!!
Jake Turns 4!!

Christmas 2007

Christmas 2007

Meet the Posse

Meet the Posse