Potty Training...Round 1 Goes to Jake Anthony (uggh)

To potty train or not to potty train...that is THE question these days! For those who believe in the whole "never say quit" thing or the "you've got to stick with it" or the "mind over matter" thing, you've undoubtedly never received 5 (yes, 5) sets of "dirty" clothes home a night.

As of today, we've been at it for 7 school days and we've yet to see one drop of pee-pee on the potty or anything else for that matter. That said, we've had MUCH more success at home, but of course, as I've mentioned before, that's ONLY when he's naked ...OK, so recently we've progressed to being able to wear a shirt and socks, but still not an approach that's going to work at school.

I'm thinking, Round 1 goes to Jake Anthony and it may be better to switch over to the "lose some battles, but win the war" approach before I need a new washer and dryer and my son ends up so traumatized by the whole thing that he ends up wearing Depends to college. Someone kindly remind me that "this too shall pass"...OK, maybe not the best quote there...LOL

Beyond our potty wars, life with Jake has grown interesting in other not so pleasant ways. He's finally realized that the Terrible Twos somehow passed him by and has decided to give us all a crash course in what we missed over the last year. I used to read about his donor siblings (fellow 1876ers) and think, WOW, "temper tantrums"?? Intense personalities?? Unwavering stubbornness?? Refusing to sleep?? Thank goodness we passed on those genes;-) Well, hold on just one minute...someone forgot to knock on wood when thinking/saying those things because over the last few weeks here comes those 1876 genes front and center!!!

Most of the time, my mom, brother JJ and I just stand there with our jaws on the ground with a look of total shock, each thinking WHO THE HECK IS THIS KID AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH JAKE?!?!?!? As he stomps around the kitchen purposely knocking chairs, stools, toys, and anything else that isn't nailed down or too heavy over. He kicks, hits, pulls hair and at his worst, reminds me of a dog with rabies...BAD TO THE BONE!!! Then, one of us snap out of the temporary coma we've fallen into and offer him some kind of distraction...ANYTHING to stop the insanity. And most times, it works, and we all breath a deep sigh of relief and whoever came up with the brilliant idea that time gets high fives all the way around...LOL And, just like that, in the blink of an eye, he reverts back to our "Chuchees", my "Punk'in Pie" and all is right in the world again UNTIL... the next eruption.

I've read about a million articles, both online and in various parenting books, about these types of situations and most say the same thing...JUST WALK AWAY and your child will realize that what they're doing is NOT getting them the attention they crave and stop. WELL...let me tell you how difficult that can be to put into REAL LIFE practice!!!! I've tried it, many times, and it's nearly impossible to leave the room when your 3 yr old is throwing every toy he has from your family room to your kitchen...hitting the table, your light fixtures, the dogs, knocking cups off the counter and basically trashing your house. HOW, IN THE WORLD, do you just walk away from that???? And WHERE, pray tell, do you go where you won't hear your house being trashed??? And even more importantly, WHO ARE THESE MORONS who give out this advice and what kind of childproofing did they do to their house to try to make that idiotic suggestion work?!?!?

It's at those very moments when all of the best intentions, past promises and strong opposition to "spanking" go right the hell out the damn window!!! As I've told my neighbor Kristin across the street (who, God bless her, has 3 children, one of which is also a 3 yr old boy)...If you see something flying overhead, don't worry, I've just finally given in to my urge to "drop kick" the boy across the street. When he calms down, feel free to return him...LOL

OK, so enough about the challenging parts of our boy...on a good note, he continues to amaze us with how much he can absorb and learn!!!! This week, he wanted to call his Aunt Bear, so I showed him how to dial it using the speed dial on my cell phone by pressing the numbers 84 and then the pound sign. After getting her machine, and telling me "Aunt Bear doesn't want to talk to me", I showed him how to call her cell, again using the speed dial. Well, about 3 days later, we're driving to his school and he says "momma, Aunt Bear's house is 84 pound." Ahhhh, YES, it is and how the heck did you remember that??? Memory like an elephant!!! Now if he could ONLY remember to use the potty!!!

He's also into spotting Fords these days and he can pick them out from a mile away. At his school one morning this week, another little girl in his class, Olivia, and her mom came in while we were unpacking his backpack. He said to her mom, you drive a Ford. I must admit, I REALLY thought he must be wrong...how on Earth could he know what someone elses mom drives?? (Yes, you'd think I would know better than to doubt him, eh?) Well, of course, he was right and Olivia's mom and I were in shock.

The teachers at his new school continue to be amazed at what he already knows at age 3. The other kids are learning how to count to 3, while Jake is taking the numbers 1, 2 and 3 and arranging them as 12, 32, 21, 13, etc. I'm sure in a few weeks, he'll be on to 123 and 321, etc. IF only he could be potty trained and move up to the next class...I know, I know, enough about the damn potty training...sorry.

Jake's uncle JJ bought him a new (big boy) quad for his birthday, so mommy put it together last night (subject for a future post...isn't there some unwritten rule that says the person who buys the gift is the one who's responsible for putting it together? LOL) and we reluctantly let it charge all night. Of course, in the meanwhile, this gargantuan thing was being pushed, dragged, tugged, around my kitchen...just to prove to mommy that it's NOT too big to ride in the house, when clearly, it IS, unless I'm in the market for some cabinet reshaping, which I'm NOT. Sorry, I digress....

So, I put the fully charged battery in it and drag it down the front steps and turn to close the front storm door which is propped open...while my back is turned, my little future stunt car driver proceeds to ride willy nilly down through my flower beds and down the side of my driveway picking off the driveway lights one by one as he goes. The whole time squealing in delight, like this was some kind of game or something. And this was in LOW gear!!! (Note to self...he's inherited his Nanny's driving skills so we'll be using one of those driver training services when he hits 17.) Then his best bud, Logan, came over from across the street and against every warning listed on the quad, we let them ride together (OK, so in fairness to his mom, Kristin, I let them ride together). The entire time, Kristin, was predicting that 14 years from now, we'd be sitting together biting our nails as our two teenagers drive up the street FOR REAL...oh my! Needless to say, the quad was a big hit...literally!

Well I better end here and go down and peel Nanny off the couch and put her to bed. The boy has been running her ragged and she's likely to sleep down there all night if I don't drag her up and tuck her in. Lucky for him, he could put her favorite keepsake in the garbage disposal and turn and say "sorry Nanny" with that sincere little face and she would love him like there's no tomorrow...oh, what would the world be like without nannys?!?!?

Night all...