Kindergarten Graduation

Kindergarten Graduation

Crossing the finish line at the NJ Marathon

Life with Jake...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A Couple of Recent Conversations With Jake...

In an attempt to put a stop to some recent bad behavior (talking back, not listening, etc.), we've begun to use Super Nanny's (the show on TV, not our Super Nanny who used to be Bad Nanny) timeout technique which she refers to as the "naughty step" or "naughty seat", depending obviously on the spot you select.  We've gone with the "naughty step" and needless to say, Jake is NOT at all fond of the technique and/or the step or me when I use it.  (And to be honest, I shouldn't say "we're" using this technique, because truth be told, Nanny prefers to put HERSELF in time out and just retreat to her room when he gives her a hard time...she might be the smart one here.)

A few days ago, he was particularly riled up when I placed him on the naughty step and began what turned out to be a 5 minute rambling of various little things to try to get me as riled up as him.  Here are some of the excerpts (which are fit for printing)...

"Momma, you are the "worstest" and meanest mommy on the block, in NJ, in the United States, in North America in the world...oh, and on Saturn too."  Who knew, there were mommies on Saturn?!?  LOL 

"Momma, you let me off this step right now or else I'm going to write a letter to Santa and he's not going to bring you ANY presents next year"...

"Mom, when I get bigger than you, I'm going to make YOU sit on this step all day and all night until your butt hurts"...(hmmm, lucky for me that I happen to have a lot of padding back there)...

"Mommy is a big bad baby,  and nobody likes her...Quincey, do you like her?  I don't either.  Mommy, Quincey doesn't like you either."  Hmmm, didnt know Q was harboring all of those bad feelings inside all these years... the little traitor dog...LOL

"Momma, you're in BIG trouble now because God is watching you and you're gonna have a lot of explaining to do or you're going to have to go to that place with all the fire now.  And Nanny isn't going to say anymore prayers for you either!"...

"Mom, I'm just "agnoring" (his version of annoying and ignoring) you now.  So you should just let me off this step because you're going to feel worse than I do when it's done"... he's sometimes right on that one.

"Mommy, when I get off this step, I'm calling my Nanny and she's YOUR mommy and she's going to make YOU sit on the step and that's a WHOLE lot of minutes that you'd have to stay here"... (it's one minute for every year old you are...so that translates into you are a WHOLE lot old, mom)

"Mommy, I have to go potty really bad and if you make me hold it that's going to not be good for my body and everything will back up into my large intestine" and then Aunt Bear is going to get mad at you because I'll have to go to "my" emergency room and she'll have to come there because you can't ever be there by yourself and I don't think you want Aunt Bear to be mad at you too, do you?... (First Santa, then God, then Nanny and now AB?) 

Now the technique calls for absolutely NO talking to him while he's on the step and it takes EVERYTHING I have to not go over there and get into some useless debate with him about the things he's saying or drop kick him into the neighbor's yard.  Can't be sure who's happier to hear the 5 minute timer go off...him or me?!?!?  LOL

Conversation #2:

As I was putting Jake to bed tonight he's tossing and turning and I'm trying to rub his back and praying that he will settle down and go to sleep (already).  As his eyes are just beginning to close, they pop back open wide and he says "Momma?"  To which I reply, "no talking Jake, it's bedtime."  But he continues... "Momma, I have to ask you something really important."  OK, Jake, what is it?  "Momma, is 24 + 24 equal to 48? Because I know that 25 + 25 = 50 and I think if I take 1 off of 25 and 1 off the other 25 then that would be 2 less than 50, which would be 48.  Is that right, Momma?"  YES, Jake, that's right!  "So here's the real question, Momma...how can you add two odd numbers (25+25) and get an even number like 50 and also add two even numbers like 24+24 and ALSO get an even number like 48?"  Now, it's 8:30 and I haven't eaten anything yet for dinner and I'm still in my work clothes and I left the house early this morning and haven't stopped all day at work and then took him to gymnastics, fed him and gave him a bath and now, he wants to have an in depth discussion about mathematical properties?!?!?!?  One side of my brain is saying... "encourage him, this is fantastic, he's only 5 and he totally has a brain made for math"  while the other side is saying..."you're tired, you're hungry, you're still in your work clothes, for Christ sake, just say you don't know and make him go to sleep"...Any guesses which path I took?

A couple of days ago, Nanny made her daily trip to WaWa for her sacred cup of coffee and picked up a "surprise" for Jake.  When she got home, she told him that if he was good, he would get a surprise.  Of course, he asked what it was and she told him that it was a "surprise" and that she couldn't tell him.  Well about 5 minutes later, he picks up the receipt from the store and says "Nanny, I know what the surprise is!  It says on here that you bought a coffee, the newspaper and a DONUT for me!!"  Well, this shocked Nanny so much that she had to call me at work to tell me...I didn't have the heart to tell her that he can read just about anything now!!!

As I always say...Life with Jake is NEVER, EVER boring...

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Catching Up With Jake

This morning started off with one of the funniest emails of the year... it came from Aunt Amy and the subject was: "I would like to lodge a complaint" and it went on to point out that it has been half past forever since I provided an update on our boy. So, here I sit at midnight in hopes of somehow catching you all up on the past couple of months...

Since my last post, Jake has officially hit 4 ft tall and is closing in on 65lbs (so much for the super duper car seat that was supposed to last him until he was 7, little did I know he would hit the 65lb weight limit at 5). If I'm being honest, I'm not sure how the boy manages to grow like he does when you consider what he eats...or better yet, what he won't eat. He's still a great vegetable and fruit eater, which I'm sure helps, but still VERY fussy when it comes to any kind of protein (Aunt Bear will not like to hear this). The only beef he's eaten in the last 3+ years has been maybe a half of 2 hamburgers and the beef he gets in hot dogs, which is only because he doesn't know they're beef.

His typical response these days is that he's going to eat "meat" when he turns 10. Not sure what's with the age of 10, but it seems a lot of things are going to start happening when he hits that magical number. I'm embarrassed to say that the only chicken he eats is chicken nuggets and even though I buy the all white meat kind, I still don't feel all that good about feeding it to him. But without them, he would literally eat NO meat at all. What's a mommy to do?!?!

His absolute favorite food continues to be the special pumpkin bread that his Pops makes for him every 2 weeks. Poor Pops is coming up on his 3rd year (yes, YEAR) of baking pumpkin bread and the worst part is that he's not even allowed to experiment a little. Jake knows if even one ingredient has been changed and he sends Pops back to follow the original recipe. I guess there are worse favorite foods to have and frequently remind myself that it's at least not candy.

Speaking of candy... In spite of the fact that he eats VERY little candy, we had quite a shock at his last dentist visit. The boy had 4, yes 4, cavities!!!! I felt shocked, scared, mad, sad, guilty and was on the verge of a breakdown when the dentist delivered the news. I completely over-reacted and went directly to the store and bought a flossing electric toothbrush, a waterpik, 12 packs of different flossers, and went on line to purchase a bunch of these xylatol candies that kill the bacteria in your mouth. Yes, I was freaking out!!!

So, the cavities were between his back teeth (something I had never even heard of) and we had to go to a pediatric specialist to get them fixed. Aunt Bear volunteered to come to the specialist with us, more for morale support for me than for Jakey. And in the end, he did FANTASTIC and didn't even know that they had drilled at all!!!!! Aunt Bear and I sat in the waiting room and watched a movie (for bad and neglectful mommies) and he was in there all by himself and didn't cry a tear or make any fuss at all. After all those sleepless nights I had worried that he would be traumatized for life...he came out smiling. I was SO proud of him!!!

I have to tell you though, I still can NOT believe that with all of the brushing we do, he had any cavities, let alone 4, but the dentist proceeded to tell me that he had to floss at least twice a day to keep it from happening again. Now OK, I can see that for an adult (not that I do that), but for a 5 year old child?!?!?!? Floss twice a day?!?!?! Let me tell you, we've been on this regiment for the past 2 months and it would be easier to get the devil dog, Quincy, to let me do it. I'm convinced that five year boys and floss just don't go together...lol

OK, enough about teeth... On the school front, he continues to excel and is now totally obsessed with learning how to write in cursive. This wouldn't be an issue if his printing was really good, but being a boy and being lefty makes for not so great handwriting...when you add cursive on top of that, it's anybodies guess what the heck he's writing. He's turning into a really amazing reader and even reads with inflection, understanding how to use question marks and exclamation points. He still prefers to be read to vs reading to someone else, but he can certainly do it when he wants to. The only downside is the better he gets, the harder it becomes to tell him he can't do something because something "says so"... now he sounds out the words and comes back and tells me that he thinks I am mistaken. I guess I knew that day was coming...

He definitely inherited his "cleverness" (otherwise known as "common sense") from the donor since my dad has been telling me my whole life that I have absolutely none. I was trying to distract him while brushing his teeth one night and I asked him how many teeth he had and he said "20". So, I asked him what letter that would be, again just trying to buy myself some time, and he said "T". Now, I really wasn't sure it was T (I know, WHY do I doubt him), so I suggested we check and started to count up from A. I got to about E before he stopped me and pointed out that it would be much easier to count backwards from Z because we only would have to go down 6 instead of counting up 20. Can you say, Scary freak'in smart?!?!?... and bound to be a total handful when he's a teenager.

He frequently comes out with some good remarks and I always find myself wishing I had the time to write them down... here are a few recent ones that I can actually remember:

* "Momma, can you ask the Easter Bunny to leave me a note with the number of eggs he leaves inside and outside so I can know when to stop looking? He doesn't need to add them up, I can do that part myself." (well, won't the Easter Bunny be relieved to hear that...lol)

* As we pass by an ambulance stopped on the side of the road..."Oh well, there's another dead person." To which I replied "WHAT?!?!" And he said "well, every time there's an "ambilance" on those shows I watch with JJ on TV, the person is dead". Now I know why I don't like to let him watch TV with JJ.

* In response to me telling him that I wouldn't do something he insisted I do... "Mommy, you HAVE to do it because it's your JOB to make me happy!!" Hmmm, I don't like the sound of that.

* In response to my request to clean up his dinner plate and spot at the table... "Mommy, that's not right, everyone knows that kids make the messes and mommies clean them up." Well, guess I missed that in the fine print.

* After hitting the ball off the T and running down to 1st base with the bat still in his hands the next batter came down to get the bat and he replies "hey, get your own bat, this one is mine" LOL When the coach comes down to try to explain that he has to leave the bat by home plate...he replies "but coach, you told me to hold onto the bat"... and he was right actually.

* As we're building the 300 piece world puzzle (for like the 100th time)... "Mommy, do you see the country in Africa that looks like the same shape as the United Kingdom?" I'm lucky I know which is Africa and without labeling, I'm not sure I can even pick out the UK.

* In response to my mom telling him that she and La La had visited Spain and Morocco... "Sure, Nanny, that's because they're only separated by about 9 miles." WHO knows this stuff at 5? Heck, who knows this stuff period?!?!?

*On the first Sunday after Super Bowl Sunday, he says to Pops... "Pops I'm so happy because Sundays are actually going to be fun again because NO MORE FOOTBALL!!!" Breaking his momma's heart!!!!!!!!

Speaking of sports...On the T-ball front, after an initial rough start when No-No and Aunt Bear took him to the first session and he had a total meltdown (lol, lol, welcome to my world)... he's actually doing FANTASTIC. OK, so you need to keep in mind that we tend to define anything athletic related that he does without crying, pleading, begging, refusing to get out of the car or off my lap, as basically GREAT. So, fantastic is a step or two beyond that. He actually really likes T-ball now and has even moved up to the Majors now!!! Woo-hoo for Moo Moo!!! Here's the real shocker, though, our LEFTY hits and throws RIGHTY. Go figure?!?!?! I'm just happy to see him out there running around and having fun. (And believe me, there was a time that I thought it was going to take years of therapy for me to say that...) He's also still in gymnastics and continues to be the only boy (and not notice this) and at almost 65 pounds is certainly giving the instructors a work out as they lift and support him on the bars and rings.

One last exciting piece of news... I finally got off my butt and found a place for him to take piano lessons and he's gone for a couple so far. The teacher last Saturday asked him how many sets of 2 black keys there were on the piano and Jake quickly looked from one end to the other. The teacher tried to show him how he could count them by pointing to them and he said "why would I do that when I already know there are 7". Then when asked about the sets of 3, he said "there are exactly the same number". The teacher just looked at me...another one of those times that I'm just not sure what to say.

He's SO into music these days and can actually play some simple songs on ALL of his instruments...the keyboard, clarinet, flute, sax, trumpet and even his guitar. He can even tell you the notes as he's playing them and just seems to have an "ear" for figuring out the tune. Nanny bought him a few beginner books and he's already playing songs like "Beautiful Brown Eyes" from memory... I thought he was reading the notes from the book (which I was already impressed with) and then Nanny told me that the book wasn't even open. My only hope is that the teacher goes fast enough to keep him interested. They only do 15 min lessons for 5 year olds and for a kid that can sit at his keyboard for 90 mins, that just doesn't seem like enough. But, we'll see how it goes.

Jakey also took his first and second ski lesson a few weeks ago. The first one was a private lesson and it went really well (after some initial tears over falling). The second one was with Jordan and they were both part of a group lesson which was not well organized. GG and I complained and we were able to get a free private lesson for them both, so hopefully we'll get one more lesson in before the season is over. Good news is he considers himself a "good skier"...not sure about the accuracy of his rating scale, but I'll take it!

OK, I'm sure I've left out a hundred things, but that should hopefully catch everyone up somewhat anyway. I won't even promise to add in some pictures, because truth be told, I just finished his 5 yr book tonight and there will be plenty of pics to share when it arrives.

Hugs and kisses from Jakey and me!

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010

Nanny & Pops

Nanny & Pops

First Day of School!

First Day of School!

Going to 1st Grade!!!

Going to 1st Grade!!!

Jake & His Girl Jordan

Jake & His Girl Jordan

Jake Turns 4!!

Jake Turns 4!!
Jake Turns 4!!

Christmas 2007

Christmas 2007

Meet the Posse

Meet the Posse