Just a short blog, though I have tons to catch up on (tonsils out, fighting at school...including biting, meeting his new sister, Lea and playing with his "bigger little sister", Hallie)...but it's way too late for all of that tonight. This little story, however, is well worth losing 20 mins of sleep...
So, today I realized that I was about to miss the window to get Valentine's Day Cards made and sent out. I called Picture People at Bridgewater Commons and made an appointment for 7. (Yes, yes, I know that sounds late...but that was the best I could do) Went to work, left and picked up Jake (who had an excellent day at school with NO incidents of fighting, pulling hair or biting to report...but, I digress), came home, changed his clothes (since he looked like he had been in a fight with a bag of white flower and lost badly), and off we went to the mall for pictures.
Now, somewhere inside this frazzled brain, I know that taking Jake for pictures is at a minimum, a 2 person job. That's why I ALWAYS take Nanny with me, and yet, alas, I found myself driving there alone tonight...that was MISTAKE #1. After managing to coral him into his stroller (which he's way too big for now...looks a little like a baby elephant would riding in a Volkswagen bug), off we strolled into the mall. A quick check of the watch revealed that I had managed to actually arrive with 20 minutes to spare (for those who know me well, I know you're thinking that can't be true, but it was!)...exactly the time I needed to find him a cute Valentine's Day Shirt.
Luckily, I was able to spot one quickly in Gymboree. As I turned to pay for the new shirt, I made MISTAKE #2 by taking my eyes off the big guy in the little stroller. Little did I know that as I was paying for the shirt, my boy was stripping down to "NAKED BOY"!!!! I guess, when moments before he had asked if he was going to CHANGE for his picture and I said YES, he assumed he was going to change EVERYTHING. Now, I'm still relatively clueless (yes, more than usual) standing there paying at the register while I hear these giggles, claps, laughs and finally gasps coming from behind me. I turn to see what the heck was going on and find MY SON attempting to flee the stroller with only his boxer briefs (thank goodness I picked cute ones today...LOL) and his work boots still on...seems he couldn't get the briefs off over the boots...the only thing that kept him from getting completely naked. To say I could have DIED, would be the understatement of the year!!!!!
So, off I go picking up the shirts (undershirt, t-shirt, sweatshirt), jacket, pants (how the heck he got these off over the boots is beyond me?!?!?), and socks...like someone cleaning up after a stripper. While at the same time, trying desperately to keep him from escaping the stroller. Yet another reason why I never attempt these things without Nanny!!!
After finally getting him dressed, we made our way through the little crowd that had formed to watch the show (I kid you not) and head off to the Picture People store...a little more frazzled than normal. The picture taking actually went fairly well...meaning we got a bunch of good shots (as always)...which means I spent a bunch of money (as always)...with very little collateral damage to the studio, the photographer and me! LOL
We pick out pictures...and, as anyone who's been through this process knows, this is an almost impossible task when you're one on one with a 3 year old!!! (Again, why I ALWAYS bring Nanny along) I really think the studios plan it this way, so you're totally flustered sitting there while your child runs rampant around the store, trying somehow to pick and choose with one eye while scanning the room for damage with the other...it's almost impossible to make any kind of sane, logical choices under these circumstances. Luckily, when it comes to Jake and the camera, it's almost impossible to make a bad choice!! (Other than to choose one of everything, which is usually what I end up doing...LOL)
At that point, the lady goes back to print out our pictures and Jake and I are about to head to the food court to eat dinner. (yes, yes, it's very late for dinner, I know, I know...again, I'm doing my best here) Here's where I make MISTAKE #3...and boy was it a whopper!!!! Feeling like I had to pee for the past 4 hours, I thought, hey why not use the potty here at Picture People before we head to the food court.
To get to the potty, we had to slip quietly by a photo shoot in progress where we passed a family of 4 boys and a mother and father, as the potty was actually a door at the back of that photo studio. Upon entering the potty, I turned and locked the door, failing to take note of the height of the lock as compared to the height of my boy. (Right about now, mommies reading this blog know EXACTLY where this is headed...LOL) Jake and I are now in this huge bathroom and unfortunately for me, the potty is actually at the farthest point from the door. Though none of this seems relevant or important to me at the time.
I start to go pee and as I'm going, the sound of the pee pee must have made Jake feel like all of a sudden he had to go and he had to go BAD. The kind of BAD where little boys hold the crotch of their pants and hop around while crossing their legs. At that moment, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse than him having to go while I am in the middle of peeing like a race horse, he looks at the door...that door that is WAY, WAY, WAY across the room and says, "momma, I'm going to go use the boys room". And before I can stop midstream and pull myself back together he's off and running for that door knob. This is where I make MISTAKE #4... I go running after him, pants down around my ankles, and just miss catching him before he swings open the door as WIDE as it will go. And there I stand, in all my glory, while 4 boys and their father stare right through the door at me.
Luckily, Jake realized fairly quickly (well, to me, it seems like weeks later) that this was the only bathroom and came running back in, shut the door, pushed me aside, pulled down his pants and proceeded to use the potty. I, on the other hand, may never pee again...at least not in any public restrooms with my son present!!!! Total TERROR in the potty...
I believe my face has yet to return to it's normal color...
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